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Beth Patterson with her band Kalafka March 27th, 2008 at 7:30pm Orpheum Theater  ----- The Boys of Lough - March 8, 2008 - 8:00 PM—9:30 PM  Washington Pavilion

the lighter side.....jokes and toasts!

Jokes

w  One day an Irishman, who had been stranded on a deserted island


Toast

w  Here's to you!
 

submit yours!








Jokes

 

w  One day an Irishman, who had been stranded on a deserted island for more than 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship." As the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out the possibilities of a small boat and even a raft.

Suddenly there emerged from the surf a wet-suited black clad figure. Putting aside the scuba gear and the top of the wet suit, there stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde! The glamorous blonde strode up to the stunned Irishman and said to him, "How long has it been since you had a good cigar."

"Ten years," replied the amazed Irishman.

With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wetsuit and pulled out a fresh package of cigars. He takes one, lights it, and takes a long drag. "Faith and b'gorrah," said the man, "that is so good. I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!

And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Powers Irish Whiskey?" asked the blonde.
Trembling, the castaway replied, "Ten years."

Hearing that, the blonde reaches over to her right sleeve, unzips a pocket - removes a flask a nd hands it to him. He opened the flask and took a long drink.

"'Tis the nectar of the Gods!" stated the Irishman. "Truly fantastic."

At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked, "And how long has it been since you played around?"

With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed -"Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there, too!"

 

Toast

w  Here's to you!  And here's to me! and if ever we should disagree, then hell to you and heres to me!

 

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Níor chuaigh fial riamh go hIfreann 
No generous person ever went to hell.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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